15 things Edward does in his free time
by PhoenixRain26
Summary: After Aro, Jane and Jacob, Edward's darkest secrets are revealed. Let's take a look a his favorite past-times! Beware:do not eat or drink while reading this


**Hello everyone ^^ It's me (who else?)! I'm back with ****yet another addition to my "15 things" series. After Aro, Jane, and Jacob, my newest victim is Edward Anthony Masen Cullen. **

**I didn't abandon "Love at stake" but I had a little block and I'm currently typing it. Chapter 5 should be up by next week since I'll be on vacation ^^**

**WARNING: Slight Bella bashing XD I have absolutely nothing against her but I had to sacrifice her for my creativity… **

**Disclaimer: (featuring the one and only… ME!)**

I hereby declare that I certainly do not own the Twilight saga. If I did, Edward would stop being moody at once and Leah would imprint on both Aro and Mike Newton…LoL

**Feel absolutely free to review!! *WINK***

**(A little more than) 15 things Edward does in his free time**

1)Trying to auto-dazzle himself with the help of a mirror

2)Watching Bella sleep (with a dazzling smile plastered on his handsome face with his perfect eyes that makes you melt and your heart beat *COUGH* getting off topic here… *COUGH*) Edward's fixation IS kind of stalker-ish (a new word I put together just for Edward XD) and psycho-like, but some things are better left unsaid… Note to fangirls: Please, just spare my life…

3)Looking for blackmail material in people's head BD spoiler: Did you really think Esme was willing to lend her island for no reason?

4)Watching Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire. Why did Cedric Diggory have to look so much like him? Why did he have to die? AND fall flat on his face in the maze, near the end of the movie?

5)Trying to hide Robert Pattinson's existence to Bella for that human has both his looks and the ability to give her what Edward can't: a normal, human life. Hiding the actor's existence means no magazine or movie featuring him in a 2 kilometres radius of Bella. It recently involved burning the movie reel of a movie named Twilight before Bella could see it. She never understood how a technical problem so huge could occur in the Port Angeles cinema. Let's have a little peek in Edward's head: _That obscenely stupid movie where he plays a vegetarian vampire named Edw… Oh. My. Carlisle. _Carlisle!!!

6)STILL trying to invade Bella's mind, even if according to Emmett, it makes him crease his forehead and look like a constipated human, which earns our Emmy-bear a death glare by Rosalie. RIP Emmett!

7)Brooding: _Why am I a monster?Why will I be underage for eternity? Why do I have a weird hair color? Why do find _Mike _hot?_

8)Trying to find inconspicuous ways to destroy Bella's truck and make it look like an accident – the mutt DID drive it before AND he could buy his Bella a new real car. It would, you know, kill two mountain lions with one stone…

9)Putting Union flags in Jasper's room, and sometimes scotchtape a few on his back – which often happens after Edward's brooding time. Jasper never instantly understands the sudden mood change. Self-loathing a second and irrevocably happy the next…

10)Spending his forever with Bella – this vampire IS masochistic!

11)Having an affair with his piano

12)Cheating on his piano with his shiny silver Volvo

13)Putting Bella's hands in a basin of water while she sleeps in order to see if Carlisle's newest theory is true (**Author note**: In France, they say you don't "hold yourself" and pee if your fingers are put in water while you sleep. Is it the same where you live?)

14)Hiding the 3rd hand he uses only when playing the piano. Why do you think he can play that well?

15)Watching YOU sleep *evil laughs* (Darkward alert!!)

**When looking for ideas, I couldn't stop my crazy mind so here's a little bonus:**

16)Feeding Bella junk food and greasy human food that will make her fat for her to be an even bigger walking picnic package for him muahahaha

17)Checking how many decibels his loudest growl is worth and comparing with his family's

18)Fantasizing on… Bella with a lamb's (and occasionally a mountain lion's) body… So _bloody_ beautiful!

19)Playing "Eye of the Tiger" on the piano when nobody's listening

20)Looking for new compositions to steal (Darkward power!!)

21)Secretly admiring himself in Alice's clothes when nobody's watching (and also _seeing_ in Alice's case). He absolutely _adores_ her fuchsia leggings… It makes his legs look like they could go on…and on for kilometres!!

**So, what did you think? Review **_**please **_***puppy eyes***


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